Grace for My Home | Christian Women, Growing in Faith, Spirit-Led, Hearing from God, Sowing Truth

Whose Well Done Are You Working For?

• Audrey McCracken | Mom Encourager • Season 2 • Episode 79

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Audrey McCracken:

Hello friends, welcome back to Grace from a Home. I hope and pray that you have had a great week. We've had some challenges this week. I have had the flu and I'm getting over that. So if you hear it in my voice, that's what it is I'm getting over it. And my oldest son, david, he has been sick also, but thankfully nobody else in the house has been sick.

Audrey McCracken:

I've been trying to keep my distance from them, but you know how that is as a mom that just kind of throws a wrench into everything because you're the hub. You're the hub of everything that happens in the home and so when you're down, everything stops. But I have people who love me. My mom has has been great. She's been helping me, she's been coming and helping with the clothes and things like that. And then my mother-in-law cooked us dinner tonight. She she made us something because she knew we were tired of eating sandwiches. So she made us a good meal and I thank the Lord for for my mom and for my mother-in-law and for others that have checked in on us.

Audrey McCracken:

And today I almost didn't record tonight, but I thought about you ladies and how many listen, and I just didn't want to disappoint you because I know how much work this mama gig is. It's a lot of work. It's emotional work, it's physical work, it's mental work, it's spiritual work. It's a lot of work. And anything that I can do to encourage you in this work I want to do because I believe in what you're doing. I know it's important. It's not just important for here, it's for here and now. It's eternally important. And though I can be overly dramatic, I do mean that I believe that the work that you are doing in your home every day as a mom is some of the most important work that is happening in the earth right now. Because by making stable homes for our children, by being a stability in their lives, by giving them somebody who cares, by praying for them and pointing them to Jesus, you are doing God's work. You're doing eternal work and it will matter hundreds of years from now, and you need to know that. You need somebody to tell you that, to remind you of that. I do too. We need each other. We really do.

Audrey McCracken:

You know God has mentioned last week. He made us to thrive in community, and so when we fight against that, you know, when we decide to be a lone ranger and we don't surround ourselves with people maybe because we've been hurt or we just don't trust people or for various reasons Then we work against our own nature and it's only to our harm, because we flourish when we are in community and God knows what we need, even when we don't know what we need, even when we refuse to believe that he knows what's best for us. And so sometimes we need each other to remind ourselves hey, you need some people to talk to, you need to be around other people. I want to share my heart with you this week, something that I have been thinking about for quite a while, and one of the things that I'm most thankful to the Lord for is our free will.

Audrey McCracken:

No, god did not make us robots. There is no, there's no joy if someone cannot help but love you. If they have to love you, then that's not really love. And God created us, put us mankind into a garden and gave him and her them a choice to love him and obey him, which go along together. You know, jesus said if you love me, you'll obey my commandments. And he gave them a choice because he did not want puppets, he wanted people and he wanted those to love him who chose to love him with a free will, and so our free will is so precious, and God will not violate that free will. And we have been given this awesome gift. And that gift is our freedom to choose, our free will to make our own choices, to decide for ourselves what path we're going to take, if we're going to choose God or if we're not. You know, he loves us so much that he even gives us the power to decide not to serve him and not to love him, because love that is forced is not love at all, and with that comes a huge responsibility. What are we going to do with this free will? Well, hopefully we're going to take that free will, we're going to turn it towards him and we're going to serve him and love him. But I think it's important for us to know that we have that choice, because we do have an enemy who does not even want us to think that we have a free will. He wants us to think that we're just floating along and whatever happens to us happens. We're just a product of our environment or nature or chemistry, and we just have no ability to change our future. Whatever we'll be will be, and that's not true. We can make changes. We cannot change the past, but we can change our future today by the choices that we make. And I think it's important that we know that as moms and that we teach that to our children, that our choices really matter. This is not a game we're playing. It really matters.

Audrey McCracken:

And one of my favorite parables and you'll just have to forgive me if you I don't know how many times I've spoken about this parable during the year and a half that I've done the podcast but one of my favorite parables is the parable of the talents, which is in Matthew 25. There's just so much gold in that. I did not mean that at that point, but I guess it's there right. But there's so much treasure in that parable because in that parable God shows the power of choice. He shows the freedom that he's given us. He gives us things and says do with them what you will, but make something out of them. Don't go barium. He doesn't tell us exactly how to do it or where to go. He just gives it to us and says now, when I come back, let's see what you've done with that. And that's a little scary, right? I mean I'd like the instruction manual, please. I'd like you to show me one, two and three. So I know I did it right.

Audrey McCracken:

What if I go out and try and I lose everything? It's part of me wishes that was like the fourth servant in the parable, so I could see what God would do with him. Because what if I'm that one? What if I'm the one who goes out to invest it and I lose everything? I make bad investments. But what happened to that guy? I always wonder, lord, what if that was me Right? But I just have to believe that at least he tried, right. He didn't bury it.

Audrey McCracken:

But one of the things that I want to talk with you about today in that parable is the verse. There's actually two verses. It says in verse 21, and in verse 23 he's speaking to the servant who had five talents, who made it, who invested and grew it to ten talents, and the one who had two talents and invested and grew it into four talents. He says to them both the same thing. His master said to him Well done, good and faithful servant, you have been faithful over little. I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master, and that is our goal. You know there is something about us that wants to hear well done, you did a good job, and I think that's just built in us. I know kids. I know it's built into kids.

Audrey McCracken:

Now you get so much more out of a kid with praise than you do with scolding or with fault finding or pointing out their weaknesses. If you can zone in on something that they've done well and you can encourage them in that area and just praise them for that one thing, you will get so much more mileage out of that than finding their faults and picking them apart, because that discourages. But praise encourages and gives them courage. It gives them hope. It helps them see themselves as one who is capable instead of one that's not capable, and so that gives them hope, gives them a reason to try harder, to try harder the next time. And you know, I found that true in my life. I found that true in the lives of my children. I think most of us believe that to be true. But one of the most important things as a mom is for us to get clear on who's well done we're looking for. You know, as a homeschool mom and I understand that a lot of ladies out here who are listening are not homeschool moms have never been, never will be.

Audrey McCracken:

But being a homeschool mom taught me so much because of the responsibility that I felt when I took over the education of my children, it got real, real fast. You know, there's something about being able. You know, now I have two kids in public school and so I don't feel all of the weight of the responsibility on me as I did when they were at home with me. And my husband is an education, and one day I'll tell you guys the story of how we went into homeschooling. It's kind of funny actually, and but I remember the Lord had put it on my heart to homeschool them and had not put it on my husband's heart, it was on my heart.

Audrey McCracken:

But I remember when I got in the middle of it and I was trying to teach them to read, and I was trying to teach them to write and teach them to math and and the basics like the basics, right, like the things you have to know. And I remember thinking this is all on me. And another thought if I don't do this, well, their dad is going to kill me because I've taken this on, and if they can't read, it's all on me. And I remember listening to a podcast. At that time I was listening to a lot of podcasts on homeschooling and and reading books on different ways to homeschool and I was grasping for something encouraging and helpful.

Audrey McCracken:

And I remember somebody said something and it stuck in my mind and I took it as mine. I thought that's mine, I'm going to use that. And he said who's well done Are you looking for? That is so important, that question is so important, not just for a homeschool mama, but for a mama, for a person, for everybody. Who's well done are we looking for?

Audrey McCracken:

You know my natural. You know we all have different personalities. I am naturally inclined to please. I think a lot of moms are maybe not all. I know not all, but me, just my personality, I just I like people to go along, I like harmony. You know I like to make people smile and happy. You know I'm not always like that, but generally I like to see people get along right. Why can't we just all be happy? Well, the danger in that is that everybody can't be happy all the time, and so if I'm gonna have to choose who's going to be happy, I need to make sure I'm pleasing the right one or the right ones If I choose to please the world instead of pleasing my father, then in the end I've lost everything.

Audrey McCracken:

I've lost everything. I've lost the whole point. See, the point is what has my father asked me to do? And am I doing that? Because I can make the whole world happy and everybody loved me and liked me, but if I'm not doing what he asked of me, then it doesn't matter. And really, that question you know, what is my father asked of me? That really brings things back to bare minimum. I mean, it's really the basics.

Audrey McCracken:

Sometimes we're running around trying to please so many people that don't even know we're trying to please them. It's not like they've put this expectation on us. A lot of times we'll do it to ourselves, but we're running around trying to make so many people happy or trying to do the right things in all these areas when God didn't even ask us to. It's just what we feel like we're supposed to do or we think is expected of us. And sometimes we just have to get along and hear from my father and say Father, what do you want me to do at this time, at this juncture, at this season? What is your will for me right now? And you know a lot of times and I don't want to put a percentage on it because everybody's different, but I'll say for myself probably 80% of the time I'm doing things he never really asked of me, I just felt like they were required or things I was supposed to be doing, and I'm running around you know, here in the South we use the term I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off, and I've actually seen that. You know, I've seen a chicken with his head cut off, so I know what that looks like.

Audrey McCracken:

It's like you're running around in a panic and you have no purpose, you're just trying, it's just a frantic frenzy and you're not even doing the most important things. And that's where we can find ourselves if we don't get along with God, we don't get quiet and we don't hear our father say this is what I need you to do right now, because that's the most important thing. Because when it's all said and done, when all of the books are shut, you know, when we're standing before him, what we want to hear is well done, my good and faithful servant, enter into your master's joy, and that's when you've done his will, and everything in this world will put more and more layers on us, but when we get along with him and quiet, when we get along with him, we can hear his voice and he can put his finger on the things that he wants us to do and show us all the things we're doing that he did not call us to do. And those are the things usually that are bringing us the stress, that are bringing us the heaviness, that are causing us to feel like he is not faithful, because we are given out, because we're give out, because we're tired, and if he was faithful, we wouldn't be this tired. And so it's one of those moments we need, those moments where we get along with him and we're like Lord, you don't have to show me what I'm doing, that's not from you, because obviously I'm doing some things that you didn't ask me to do, and we need to hear Lord, what did you ask me to do? And we need to search our hearts and we need to find out, lord, who's well done?

Audrey McCracken:

Am I working for? Am I trying to please the people at church so they think well of me? You know, am I trying to impress the other moms, the other homeschool moms, so they think well of me? Am I trying to impress. Am I trying to please my husband? Now?

Audrey McCracken:

There's nothing wrong with pleasing your husband. I mean, there's a certain amount of good will, right, that you want in your marriage, where we're serving each other, we're helping each other, we're working together. That's a good, positive thing. But he's not your God he is. He's your husband, right? He's not the well done that you're looking for. We love him because God told us to. You know we love him and treat him well because God asks us to. But he's not our God. You know our husband's not our God. Our children are not our God. God is our God. You know it's even with our children.

Audrey McCracken:

We're not trying to please our children. You know there are times that we'll do things that will just thrill them and they'll be so happy with us. But you know as well as I do discipline and correction. They're hard and that's part of our job too, and they're never gonna like that. You know discipline seems painful at the time, but in the end it produces righteousness, right? So we have to play both sides of that coin for them. So we can't be trying to please them. We have to cut everything back and see Lord, are we trying to please you. Who's well done Are we looking for? And as mamas, we get to choose. That's a choice, see, that should make us feel empowered. We get to choose who's well done we're looking for, who's well done we're working for and we can love people, but we don't have to try to please them. No, actually, if we love people, if we really love people, then we need to put God first.

Audrey McCracken:

I found out early in my marriage and I have to keep getting reminded of this, it's one of those lessons that it's human nature to think one day that you're above it. But I found out early in my marriage that my marriage is only as good, is only as strong, is only as happy as my relationship with Jesus. See, if I try to make my husband meet all of my needs, then I put an unrealistic expectation on him that he cannot carry, and it's a heavy burden on him and it it's sour as our relationship. See, if I put all of, if I make him responsible for all my happiness and all my joy and all my self-worth, that is more than my husband can carry. Those are things I need Jesus for, and so I have to have a strong relationship with Jesus so that I don't put heavy burdens on my husband that he was never created to carry, because it will sour our relationship, because he knows he can't and I will look to him for things he can't do. And it goes vice versa.

Audrey McCracken:

It goes the other way too. You know, you can't be that for your husband. You can't be everything he needs. He needs Jesus, and so when we're walking together with Jesus, it's a lot easier than me putting all of my emotional needs in the hands of my husband, who cannot carry them. And so we have to say Lord, who's well done Am I looking for? Am I looking for my husband's well done? I want him to be pleased, I want him to be happy with me, but ultimately my heart's desire has to be that I please my father. Now. He said love your husbands Right, he said honor and respect your husbands. So in doing so I'm obeying my father. But ultimately my goal is Jesus.

Audrey McCracken:

I hope that makes sense, because remembering that really helps me in my marriage, and I can tell sometimes when I put too much on my husband Because, instead of drawing near to me, I feel him wanting to draw back, because it's an unreasonable request to ask somebody to be more than God created them to be for you, and we all or I should say many of us fall into that trap often, and the world sets us up for that, you know, especially around this time of year the day that I'm recording this right now is Valentine's Day and so a lot of times we put this unrealistic expectation on our spouse and when they don't meet it, then we feel disappointed, like somehow we're not worthy or somehow we got a dud, you know, and we didn't. We didn't. It's just they're not us, they don't think like us and they're never going to love us like Jesus does. So I just encourage you this week to ask yourself who's well done? Am I working for you know? Who's well done? Am I longing to hear? And that will eliminate some, a lot of the expectations that you've put on yourself, because you know you can love people, but you don't have to be beholden to them. You can love people but you don't have to try to please them. Actually, if you're trying to please everybody, then you are carrying a lot of heavy burdens. Jesus said his yoke is easy and his burden is light.

Audrey McCracken:

Amen, lord, I pray for my sisters in the faith. Lord, we need you. We can't do this alone and I pray, lord, for your strength in us this week. I pray, lord, god, that you'd give us new eyes. I pray, god, that you would help us to see ourselves through your eyes. I pray, lord, god, that our hearts desire would be that one day we would stand before you and we would hear those words well done, my good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your master and Lord. I just pray that we would live every day, lord, with that hope in mind. And, lord, I just pray, lord, for them. Today, I cover them in your love and in your promises, in Jesus' name, amen.