Grace for My Home | Christian Women, Growing in Faith, Spirit-Led, Hearing from God, Sowing Truth

I'm So Thankful for Our Homeschool Journey

• Audrey McCracken | Mom Encourager • Season 2 • Episode 83

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Audrey McCracken:

Hello friends, welcome back to Grace For my Home. I'm so glad to be back here again with you again this week. This week I am recording in North Carolina. I'm in the mountains of North Carolina in a little town called Waynesville. A friend of mine lives here who I've known for many years and she's a dear friend and her husband is out of town and she'd asked me to come up and spend a few days with her this weekend while he's out of town and she's just treated me like a queen. She's cooked breakfast for me. Today we went out and went to some consignment shops in town that she loves and we shopped and got some lunch and now just resting. And tonight we'll go with her granddaughter one of her granddaughters and get something to eat tonight and just spend some time together.

Audrey McCracken:

And this is such a treat for me and I don't really know how to relax. To be honest with you, I've been going so fast for so long that I realized that I don't know how to stop. I don't know how to slow down. So this is good for me. It's one of those things that you do because you know it's good for you, and just turning off my mind has been a wonderful exercise for me. Today. I've had to put other things out of the way and say you know what, today they can do it without me right. Today, my home will run without me, my kids will be fine without me, the coffee shop will be fine without me. Today I need to relax and rest, and so I'm very thankful for this opportunity to do that, and you know, I'm in a season where everything is changing.

Audrey McCracken:

I did a podcast on transition a few months back and actually went back and listened to it because I thought, you know, I shouldn't be saying these things to other people if I'm not doing it myself. So I went back and listened to my own podcast for encouragement and to remind myself that transitions are necessary and that you know they're a means to an end. I mean, you can't get to the next place until you go through that doorway, and that's what transitions are like. They're like the doorway you don't stay there. You got to go through them to get to the other side.

Audrey McCracken:

And one of the things about transitions are we often take on new roles after a transition takes place. And so that question that often comes up in my mind, my heart who am I? Who am I in this place right now? Because we often define who we are by what we do. I'm not saying we should, I'm just saying we do, as it's human nature to define who we are by the things we do every day. And you know, one of those hats is mom. You know, then, there's so many other hats we wear as well. You know, some of us are wives, Some of us are teachers, some of us, like me, are homeschool moms, and I'm coming to the end of my homeschool career and I have mixed feelings about it.

Audrey McCracken:

And today, when I was thinking about what to share with you, I thought I'm going to share these things because they may it may help somebody else who are going through, who's going through this kind of transition or something similar. And you know, we have three boys who I've homeschooled since they were, since they were old enough to learn to read and for a short time when, before I started homeschooling them, they were in preschool. My oldest two were in preschool, but for the vast majority of their education it was all on my shoulders, until a few years ago, when my boys became, when my oldest became 14, my husband and I we talked about homeschooling and you know I'll share the whole homeschool story with you one day, which I think is really encouraging. And we were kind of at odds about homeschool. So, long story short, we decided to homeschool and see how it went and just try it out. And it went well, we enjoyed it. And there were days I thought I don't know if I could do this. There were hard days, but for the most part we loved the results. And my husband I won him over. He wasn't so sure it was my idea and he wasn't so sure, but after a couple of years and he saw the fruit, he was a believer and that says a lot because he's in public education. And so for the last 12 years I've been a homeschool mom.

Audrey McCracken:

But as my oldest became old enough for high school, my husband and I we talked and he suggested let's let him decide. You see, when kids are growing up, the older they get, the more autonomy they need. They need to start making decisions, real decisions about their lives, and we have to trust them to do that. Because if we don't give them the opportunities to do that while they're forming, while they're growing, then when they're old enough and they should be making those decisions they're not going to have the confidence and the wisdom to do so. So we've always tried imperfectly for sure, but we've always tried to give them opportunities, age-appropriate opportunities, to make decisions.

Audrey McCracken:

And one of those decisions was do you want to go to public high school or do you want to continue to homeschool? And my oldest decided he wanted to go to public high school. Well, to be honest with you, I didn't like that decision, because I loved homeschooling and we were just getting to that age where we could have really good discussions and had so many good things lined up for the high school years, and I couldn't wait to jump into those things. And it just didn't. It didn't pan out that way. And so the next year, the very next year, same thing with my second son. What do you want to do? Do you want to go to public school? Do you want to stay home? Well, he also wanted to go to public school, and so I lost two. Have one still at home.

Audrey McCracken:

Well, for the last two years, my youngest has been with me, and it's just been me and him. And now it's his turn and he has decided to go to public school. And so I just have a few more weeks, maybe two weeks that I will be a homeschool mom and as we come to this transition and I will no longer have anybody at home that I'm teaching, that I'm reading to those kinds of things. It's a bittersweet time, you know it's a bittersweet time and but it's a good time. It's a goodtersweet time. You know it's a bittersweet time, but it's a good time. It's a good thing because my boys are going into the world and hopefully putting to practice the things that their dad and I have tried to teach them, have tried to instill in them.

Audrey McCracken:

And I wanted to talk with you about that today and just talk with you a little bit about our homeschool journey and why we decided to homeschool and why we're glad we homeschooled. And I just want to start off by saying that you know, I'm not one of these people who thinks everybody should homeschool. I'm not. I think it's a very personal decision. I think it's one of those things that you have to pray about. You have to feel a calling to do. I think it's one of those things that you have to pray about. You have to feel a calling to do.

Audrey McCracken:

I know some people who have homeschooled because they had to. There's family situations or circumstances and they had no choice. They had to. And I've known others who reluctantly jumped in because of situations in their lives. They felt like it was the best option.

Audrey McCracken:

But I was one of those who dreamed about it. I wanted to do it and you know, I had a great vision of how I wanted to homeschool my children. Well, it never looked like my vision, not even on the best day, but I had a vision. I had a goal of what homeschooling, why I wanted to homeschool, and I will say that, like I said, it never looked exactly like the vision, but it took us somewhere that I'm glad we took that road. It took us to a good place and one of the things I love about homeschool is it was a tool. It was a discipleship tool for us.

Audrey McCracken:

It gave us the things you need to disciple your children or disciple anybody really. You know, if you're going to disciple someone, for the Lord, you've got to spend time with them. You know discipleship takes time. You've got to spend time with them. You know discipleship takes time and it takes a lot of time and it takes a lot of togetherness. You've got to be in close proximity of those people that you're discipling so that they can be around you in the real world. You know it's not. Discipleship isn't one of those things. You can say OK, meet me at nine o'clock at the library and that'll be our discipleship time. Now, discipleship is one of those things that happen organically and naturally in everyday life, and so homeschooling gave us that opportunity to do that. It takes a lot of love, it takes a lot of commitment. So homeschooling gave us a tool that allowed us to disciple our children in the way that we felt like the Lord had called us to do. It also gave us it was also a wonderful lifestyle to walk out our faith together with our children.

Audrey McCracken:

You know, a lot of times we and this isn't just with homeschooling parents, but you know we tell our children what to do but we don't walk it with them. You know we say, basically, do what I say and not what I do, and that does not work for kids. You know kids, they are looking at us all the time. They're drawing from us, especially when they're young. They're following us, and so our biggest lessons have to be embodied in the things that we do ourselves. Our own behavior is a lesson for our children, because that's what they're copying. They may not copy the words we say. They may not do the words we say. They may not do the words we say, but they will copy the things we do. And so just that lifestyle of working together, of being together, it causes us to impart to our children who we are. It helps us by knitting our hearts together. It gives us opportunities to share with them what we believe in a very natural way, where it's not a list on the wall saying, okay, this is what we believe. We believe A, b and C. They see what we believe because they live with us and they see us live it out. And it also provided us a wonderful opportunity to protect our children.

Audrey McCracken:

A lot of people will say one of their issues with homeschooling, or negatives about homeschooling, is we can't protect our children forever. And they're right, we can't Right. But in the formative years, I think it's our job as moms, as dads, to protect our children from the forces that would try to pull them in the wrong directions. You know those are formative years, meaning they're being molded, they're being shaped into the people that they're going to be for the rest of their lives, and so I think it's part of our jobs as moms to protect them from the things they're not ready to be exposed to. But yes, when they grow older they need to be exposed to those things. So there's not a shock to the system when they are exposed to those things. But homeschooling gave us the opportunity to shield them from a lot of those things before they were ready for them.

Audrey McCracken:

So I'm really thankful for the times we had, the opportunities we had. You know life is all about seasons. You know we have seasons in our lives and our kids have seasons in their lives and we have to learn that. You know seasons come and seasons go and transitions from one season to the next. They're often more difficult than we think they're going to be. And one of the nice things, like I said, it was not my decision for them to go to public school, it was theirs and I was a little disappointed in that school. It was theirs and I was a little disappointed in that. I would have loved to continue until they were ready to graduate high school, to continue being their homeschool mom, but it didn't work out that way and I really do believe that it was the Lord. I believe he has a special plan, a special design, a special puzzle for each home, for each family.

Audrey McCracken:

I do want to say that I have friends who have done an awesome job of raising their children for the Lord, who did not homeschool, and they did all these things that I just mentioned having time with their children, being loving and committed, knitting their hearts together with their children and training them for the Lord in the time that they had. They were very intentional and I don't want to make it sound like homeschooling is the only way to do that. It's certainly not, but for our family it was a blessing and allowed that. But one of the things I have seen, especially in my older two boys as they have transitioned into a public school space, is it's given them opportunities to put to the test those things that we taught them at home. You know, it's one thing to tell them and it's another thing to let them put it into practice, and I love that they've been able to do that while still under the protection of our home. You know, yes, that would happen when they went to college, but I'm glad that I've been able to be here for some late night talks and when they have been seeing, when they've seen some things that just you know, disturbed them or bothered them and had some really hard questions. I'm glad that I was here Now. I'm sure they've not brought everything to me and I'm sure I don't know everything that they've seen and been exposed to, but I think it's been a healthy transition, I think it's been a good introduction.

Audrey McCracken:

And also it's hard being a teenager. No matter what kind of education choices you make, being a teenager is hard. 16 is 16, no matter where you are, and there's a lot of things going on. There's a lot of things going on physically, emotionally. Peer pressure is huge at 16,. Emotionally, peer pressure is huge at 16,. You know, at 16 and even before 16, but especially around that time, kids are starting to separate from their family naturally and become their own person, and so their peer group has huge influence over them.

Audrey McCracken:

And my goal was that I would have knitted our hearts together so they know I'm there for them. I am not their adversary, I'm their advocate, so that when this time happened and it's always going to happen that they would always remember that there's somebody at home who's got my back. There's somebody at home who's on my side who's got my back. There's somebody at home who's on my side and even though I'm out in this world and I'm trying to fit in here and I'm trying to find my place there, there's always a place I can go back to, where there are people who care about me, and that's my goal. I don't want to keep them from going out in the world and doing the things God's called them to do, or I've handicapped them and we don't want to handicap them. We want to set them free, we want to push them off, but we want to send them out in a basket that's been weaved together tight with prayer and that was my goal with homeschooling is that I would be able to have that time to pay them the attention they needed, to be intentional about discipleship, to be intentional about sharing our faith with them, to bind our hearts together so that, when the time came, we could send them out confidently, knowing we did what we knew to do. And, guys, we've made so many mistakes. I'm sure we will still make so many mistakes, but you do the best you can with what you have and what you know.

Audrey McCracken:

But one of the most profound things, when I look back over our 12 years of homeschooling, one of the most profound things I have to say about homeschooling is not what it did in the lives of my children as much as it's done in my life. God has used this homeschooling lifestyle to conform me into the image of Jesus. He has used it to change me. You know he has used this time with my children at home, away from the world, to reveal many of my immaturities. You know, I thought I was pretty mature. I really did. I thought that I knew a lot of stuff and I did know a lot of stuff. But knowing it in your head and walking it out in everyday life are two completely different things. And so being at home with my children, away from the eyes of the world, where it's just me and them and him, god used that time to show me many of the areas where I didn't I wasn't walking in the things I knew, to walk in where I wasn't as mature as I thought I was, and he gave me opportunities to walk in where I wasn't as mature as I thought I was, and he gave me opportunities to grow in those areas.

Audrey McCracken:

You know, one of my favorite stories is the Velveteen Rabbit, and if you've read it you know it is such a good story. It's about a little Velveteen Rabbit that a boy is given on his birthday and he loves that rabbit. And in the toy room where the rabbit lives with all of the other toys there's a sawhorse, and the sawhorse talks to the little velveteen rabbit about how to become a real rabbit. And basically you're a real rabbit when you're loved. You become real when you're loved, but it's usually after all of your hair has fallen out and you've been rubbed and you're wrinkly and you may not be pretty or attractive to anybody else in the world except for those who you love and who love you. And that's how you become real.

Audrey McCracken:

And being home with my children every day, through the good and the bad times, and hidden from the world, where it feels like the whole world's going by and I'm not a part of it anymore, does what I'm doing matter? Those things, that character development. In so many ways it made me a real person. It made me not just say these things but believe these things and live these things out in the real world. Home is a powerful place and so I'm very thankful for this time.

Audrey McCracken:

God taught me so much. He taught me so much about me. He taught me so much about other people. He taught me so much about the world we live in, about Him. I'm thankful for the wisdom that he taught me during these 12 years of homeschooling. He taught me so much wisdom. He conformed me into the image of Christ and I'm very thankful for that. He conformed me into the image of Christ and I'm very thankful for that. God taught me through homeschooling so much more than I've ever taught my children, and he knows what he's doing. He knows what he's doing and I'm very thankful for this season. I'm looking forward to the next season. I don't really want to go to the next season yet because I loved homeschooling, but I know it's going to be good because I'm not going alone. I'm going with him. He's leading me by the hand. We're going to the next stage and I just wanted to share these thoughts with you today and I hope they've been encouraging to you.