Homeschooling As a Lifestyle

Our homeschool took a turn for the better when we started making learning a natural part of our day and not a scheduled event.  In this episode I share the flow that kept our homeschooling days ticking.  When I replaced rigid schedules with a more manageable rhythm our days were so much more enjoyable.  With meal times as our anchors and morning devotions setting a peaceful tone, we found  a balance between group work on the couch (Circle Time) and individual work, even sneaking in quiet reading time as a little escape for me. 

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Chapters

• 0:00 Homeschooling as a Lifestyle
• 12:51 A Day in Our Homeschool Life

Transcript

Audrey: 1:13

Hello friends, I'm Audrey McCracken and welcome back to Grace For my Home. I hope that you're doing well and staying warm. We are expecting snow here in coastal South Carolina and that's a big deal for us. I remember the last time it snowed here and we got any real accumulation, my husband was away and I was here with three little boys, and now those three little boys are three big boys and they're still just as excited as they were when they were little, because it's so rare that we get snow and the weather forecast is calling for about four inches. And, yes, everything in South Carolina shuts down when it snows, at least on the coast. You know, it's just such a rare occasion, but we're really excited and that means that we'll be shutting the coffee shop down and we'll all be bundled up together. I do think it's an e-learning day, so the kids will have some things to do online. But yeah, so we're looking forward to that.

Audrey: 2:20

Unfortunately, we do have some sickness in the house. I have two boys who have been sick this week. My oldest is getting better. He's out of his room now and he seems to be better. He's still weak, but Luke is not doing well. I think he's had the flu, but symptoms didn't start showing up until Friday afternoon and everything shut down because of the long weekend, and so we've not been able to take him to the doctor. But I'm pretty sure that's what it is. But today, hopefully, is the day that it breaks.

Audrey: 2:53

Today I want to continue with our homeschool series. This is the third week and I've been enjoying this. It's nice to look back and I miss homeschooling more than I thought I would. I really do, and so this has been a nice way to kind of look back and celebrate and think about the things that we did and what I would do different, and to remember that those days mattered. Those days are over, but they mattered.

Audrey: 3:25

The first week, I talked about following God's call to homeschool and I shared with you a little bit about our story and how we became unlikely homeschoolers. It wasn't something that I ever thought I would do, it wasn't something that my husband necessarily wanted to do, but we felt that God called us into homeschooling. And then the second week, we talked about homeschooling as discipleship, which was the goal. The main goal for us, for our homeschool, was to disciple our children for Jesus, and I talked a little bit about that last week and this week I want to talk with you about homeschooling as a lifestyle. You know, nothing is ever the way we think it's going to be, and we think about things that are in the future and things we want to do and we're going to do, and we have a picture in our mind of how that's going to look, you know, like planning for a vacation or anything, a new job and then, when it happens, it's never exactly the way we pictured it, and that's how homeschooling was for me. I had in my mind this picture of us learning and growing and spending time, quality time, together, and it didn't look like that for me, not the first three years. If you'd have come to me and asked you know, what do you think about homeschooling? I really don't know that I would have recommended it and I was struggling those first three years. It did not look like feel like what I thought it was supposed to, and because I knew God had called me to this, I was confident that God had called me to do this, and so there was a part of me that thought well, this should flow easily, this should not be necessarily easy, but I felt like I was struggling more than I should, and the thing that held me on during those times because there were days that I just wanted to quit, but the thing that held me on during those times was that I felt such a strong call to do it.

Audrey: 5:27

If you listen back to my story on the first podcast of this series, I talked about how my husband was not sure that he wanted me to homeschool our children. It took some convincing. I prayed, I put it in the Lord's hands and you know, there were months there that I felt so strong that this was what God was asking me to do. But my husband was not in agreement and I knew I couldn't proceed until we were in agreement. And so I prayed Lord, if this is you, you've got to speak to my husband. And after prayer and fasting, god spoke. And so that was another confirmation to me that this is what the Lord is asking me to do. And those things that pressing through in the beginning is what gave me the stamina to hold on when things were not easy, because I would find myself thinking you know, maybe I've made a mistake, maybe they're better, maybe they would be better off in public school, maybe they would be better off with another teacher and then I'd have to go back to no. God did say do this. And I had to remind myself. This is what I prayed for. I prayed that God would speak to my husband and I would be able to homeschool my children. So this is the answer to my prayer, even though it doesn't look like I thought it would See.

Audrey: 6:54

The thing about homeschooling is it's hard, even when it's God. It's hard Most days maybe not all day or every day, but most days you're in a house with children, and especially when they're young children, you know there's no reasoning with a young child, and it takes a lot of patience, it takes a lot of grace and at the same time, god is doing things in your heart. I truly believe that, as I look back, that homeschooling was just as much a part of God's plan for my life as it was for my children. During that time he was doing a refining in me, he was changing me, he was healing me, he was touching things in my heart that I had tucked away, and homeschooling or being home, I should say being a mom and being home all day with my children brought those things to the surface, and so I was having to deal with those things at the same time, trying to educate my children and train them.

Audrey: 7:56

And it was a season that I really didn't know. I couldn't go by feeling, because my feelings said get out of this. My feelings said this isn't working, but I had to hold on to that belief that God get out of this. My feelings said this isn't working, but I had to hold on to that belief that God asked me to do this. And so I had to find confidence to say I'm going to do this, even though it doesn't look good right now. And there was a part of me that, you know, there was a little bit of pride, because I had told everybody I'm homeschooling my children and I had told my husband this is God, you know I'm going to do this, this is the Lord. And so there was a part of me that wanted to prove to everybody that I could do this and that I could be successful at teaching my own children. And then there was a part of me that was afraid I couldn't. Now what if I couldn't? And so I was dealing with these things and it was not easy. Now we had good days, you know. There were some days that were good, but I struggled with confidence.

Audrey: 8:55

And you know, when I read all the homeschool blogs and all the homeschool books and some of them were more helpful than others and I put together a schedule and I thought, you know, if I have everything scheduled out and everything planned, then it'll go better, it'll go according. You know, if I have everything scheduled out and everything planned, then it'll go better, it'll go according to the plan. If I have a plan, I have something to go by. So I'd have this elaborate plan. That never worked and in the end I ended up feeling like a failure because I couldn't keep to the schedule.

Audrey: 9:25

And as I pressed in, as I held on, as I prayed and said, lord, you know, show me how is this supposed to work. If you've asked me to do this, you've got to give me the grace to do this. And so, as he worked through my issues and helped me see that, you know, it's not about you, audrey, it's not about proving how great you are, how wonderful you are, how great of a homeschool mom you are. There's no competition here. You know.

Audrey: 9:49

He helped me to let go and let my guard down. He started showing me that he created my children, all children, to learn, that he put in them a desire to learn, and I didn't have to force them to want to learn and I felt like I did, because they didn't respond to my instruction and to my teaching the way I thought they should. So I thought, you know, if I I've just got to make them get it, you know. And the Lord started showing me you're forcing something that doesn't have to be forced, and it just really sucked the joy and the fun out of out of learning, out of out of homeschooling. And so, as I learned to chill a little bit and relax a little bit and trust the Lord, he helped me. And that's how we grow in wisdom is we have to first realize that we need it.

Audrey: 10:43

And so I found that I did not work well with a strict schedule. Some people do my sister, she has a strict schedule and it works for her and so there was a part of me that felt like there was something wrong with me because I couldn't stick to the schedule, and I realized that that's just not how God made me and it wasn't a character flaw, that's just not my personality. And when I finally chose to believe that this is not something, there's not something wrong with me. This is just who I am and I can let go of that and not feel guilty. Then I gave myself grace and I was able to give my children more grace. And so our days and you see, I'm talking about these days like this happened one day, or this happened like on Thursday, or this happened like on Thursday, and this was a period of time when, through difficulties, I realized this isn't working. Let's find something that works. So this is something that happened over you know, years really, but I'm kind of condensing it into one podcast episode.

Audrey: 11:43

But the as I started learning what worked for me and my personality and our home, and tried to kind of block off what everybody else was doing, because when you read about what everybody else is doing, you start thinking, well, maybe I should do it that way or maybe I should do it that way. But when I started realizing that I didn't have to do it exactly how everybody else did it and that maybe my personality is different from theirs, then I gave myself grace and I was able to have more grace with my children and I learned that we worked better with a flow, like we work better with you know a day that we know what we're going to do that day. We don't necessarily have to nail down the time we're going to do it and you know, if we wake up later that day, so be it. If we get something happens that day and you know we have to go to the doctor, so be it. You know I would feel guilty because we missed a day of school because somebody was sick and that person couldn't help it. You know they needed a mom. They needed a mom and more than a teacher at that moment, and so I learned how to flow.

Audrey: 12:51

I learned that, you know, each day we would get up and I had a list of things that I wanted us to accomplish that day, and it became a successful day if we got to most of that. But what we didn't get to that day we'd get to the next day and we had a flow that the kids knew. So it wasn't always dependent on me to say, okay, now you need to do this or now you need to do that. You know I just we posted, I posted, this is what we're going to do today and this is how we're going to do it. And after a while they learned it, it and we kept that flow for the entirety of our homeschool days.

Audrey: 13:29

Now it changed a little bit. As they became older, they became more independent in their learning, but our flow helped us to stay on track, but not get overwhelmed or not get. Or, mama, not get overwhelmed. Now, even with the flow, you've got to have some anchors, or you can just flow and float on away, you know, and not get anything done, and I've, I've had days like that. I've, I've, I've done that as well.

Audrey: 13:57

So for us, the anchors became our meals, and so what I would do is the start of the day was with breakfast. That was the start of our homeschool day, and so we would have breakfast and during breakfast I would do a morning devotion and that would be our devotional together. After breakfast they got their chores done. I cleaned up breakfast and got myself ready, and they went and, you know, got things done like brush their teeth and put on their clothes and feed the animals, and they helped me with the dishwasher and those kind of things. And we just knew, okay, breakfast devotion, get ready for the day, and then after that we would all meet up on the couch and that would be our circle time.

Audrey: 14:41

And I only had three homeschool students. I know there are people who have six, seven, eight, nine more, but I only had three. But three different grades is hard. Teaching three different grades for me was a challenge. So I tried to combine as many things as I possibly could together that we could all learn together, and that was what we called circle time, and that's when we read together, we did songs together, we did poetry together, we did those things together on the couch and it was fun for the most part. But anything we could combine, anything we could put together, I put together and we did that on the couch.

Audrey: 15:24

After circle time we would break out and I would work with each of them individually. While I worked with one, the other two would do their independent work at, either at the kitchen table or in their room or outside. They were free to go wherever they wanted to go, as long as they could get their work done, and that's when they would work on things like handwriting. As long as they could get their work done, and that's when they would work on things like handwriting, math, science, anything they didn't need me for at that moment. Now, if they got stuck, they'd just wait on me and we'd work that out together, but they had plenty of stuff they could do they didn't need me for. So I would work with each one and then I would rotate, and then usually, by the time I got through with the last one, it would be lunchtime and that's when we would all come back together for lunch and we would either I would read a book to them or we would do an audio book while we ate, and that brought us back together, usually around noon and after lunch.

Audrey: 16:27

I, when they were young, I tried to get everybody outside. They had lots of energy and so I tried to get them outside, let them play, let them get their energy out. Sometimes we went on nature walks and when they got older, they usually used that time to finish their independent work. Around three o'clock we had what we called quiet reading time, basically a quiet time, a time to go to your room and read quietly whatever you wanted to read. It wasn't assigned just a time to settle down. Basically, what this was was I would bribe them with a snack to go to their room and be quiet, because I needed just a little bit of time to decompress, pray, think, read, have, have a cup of coffee, and as long as they went to their room and they were quiet. I let them be.

Audrey: 17:24

It's funny because just the other week I was talking to one of my boys and they were like, mom, we never read, like we played games or we played with our toys. And I told him I said, son, it was not about you, it was about me. I needed that little bit of time before I had to start cooking dinner to just kind of have a moment to myself, because I'm an introvert. That time lasted anywhere from 10 minutes to 20 minutes to 30 minutes, just depending on how old they were. You know I stretched it out as they got older and they did read some. You know he jokingly said we never read, but I know they did some because I would catch them reading. He jokingly said we never read, but I know they did some because I would catch them reading. And I do want to stress here that that time was never perfect, ever. It was a work in progress and it was messy and often they would start fighting and I'd have to go. You know they weren't even supposed to be in each other's rooms, no-transcript, or they would come, or they would come to my room and say, mom, I need this and, and so it never worked out Like I wanted days that I had a little bit of time to myself, and so after quiet reading time they would finish up any other independent work and I would work with them on anything that they needed help with.

Audrey: 18:55

But around 4.30, I would start to prep for dinner and after that they were free. They were free to go do whatever they wanted to do, of course within reason, and I would start dinner and that kind of signaled the end of our homeschool day. We didn't drag school into the night. We tried to have a you know a cutoff time, just like public school, and we were done. Now we did have read alouds on the couch at night after dinner, but to me that wasn't school, that was all for fun, and we tried to read fun books and do things that they wanted to do during that time, because I wanted them to see reading as not so much as a chore but as a pleasure, something we get to do, not something we have to do.

Audrey: 19:43

But that's the way our day typically went. Yes, there would be seasons when it didn't go, there would be days when it did not go like that. We rarely, if ever got anything, got everything done in a day. And you know I concentrated on the most important things. To me the most important things were our morning devotions, reading time together, math and writing. Those were the most important things and we tried to fit everything else in around those things. But if I got those four things done in a day, I considered it a successful day and you would be amazed at how much you can accomplish in just a year. If you do a little bit of reading, a little bit of writing, a little bit of math every day, they will grow exponentially. And it's just the consistency of peddling along. We're just going to do a little bit here, a little bit there, a little bit there and do it every day. Now our schedule there.

Audrey: 20:52

The wonderful thing about homeschooling is that you can make it your own. You can do what works for you and your family, of course, within the legal limitations of your state. You can do what works for you. And there was a season I had heard another homeschool blogger say that they did six weeks of school and then a week off, and then six weeks of school and a week off, and I thought I like that because it's kind of like having a seventh week as like a sabbatical week and it would give me more time to plan, and so I tried that for a season and when it worked I really liked it.

Audrey: 21:28

But I found that we would always be pushed back into that seventh week or we would struggle with sickness in our family for three days and so I'd have to use that last week to kind of catch up or we would have a string of appointments or a funeral or seemed like we always pushed our school into that seventh week and so it was really always a catch up week and I didn't like that. It just made me feel like you know, we're really not taking a week off. So I discontinued that and I think the way we finally landed was I followed our public school schedule. And you might say why would you do that when you're a homeschooler? Well, my husband works for the public school, so that worked well for us because that way when he was off, we were off and we could all be together. And it was easy for me because I could just follow their schedule and I usually used Saturdays and Sundays to plan for our week's work, and each year I would use the summer we took summers off.

Audrey: 22:23

I enjoyed taking summers off. A lot of homeschoolers will homeschool throughout the summer but, like I said, my husband was off during the summer and we wanted to do things that we couldn't do during the year because he was with us and we enjoyed the break. I needed the mental break during the summer and we continued to read. Reading was I tried to make reading a part of our lifestyle, but we didn't do the math and the science and those kind of things, and so my whole point of this podcast is to tell you what changed for me from those early years to when we kind of hit our homeschool groove, was I tried to make homeschooling a part of our lifestyle.

Audrey: 23:06

It's not something we do on top of life, it's a part of our life. This is how we live. We are learning, we are growing, we're learning new things, we're curious about the things around us, and when I took on that attitude, it helped enormously in our home. You know, I stopped being the headmaster and I started being the mom and I started realizing that God created us to learn and he created families to be a wonderful place where we can learn. We can learn in a safe environment, we can ask questions and don't have to raise our hand. And it just clicked. You know, ask questions and don't have to raise our hand and and and it just it just clicked. You know it worked and I know it was grace and it was growing in wisdom and it was not giving up when it was hard and learning new ways and then after that I really could recommend people to homeschool. I really could say we love homeschooling, it's it's a great way to learn, really could say we love homeschooling, it's a great way to learn, and so I hope that this has been encouraging for you and if you have any questions, please reach out.

Audrey: 24:13

I do want to say that this week I've had several reach out to me and it so blesses my heart to hear from you guys. I love it. Margie from Missouri reached out to me. My last podcast really blessed her. It was encouraging to her and so she reached out just to tell me I'm listening and thank you, and that encouraged me. I also heard from Adriana in California and she is a homeschool mom and so encouraged me Just hearing from those two.

Audrey: 24:46

If you'd like to contact me, you can do that several ways. In the show notes there is a link where you can text me directly. Now, unless you give me your email address, I cannot respond back to you. It's just a one-way communication, but if you text me, I would love to hear from you. You can also sign up for my monthly newsletter there and send me an email. I'd love to hear from you. You can go to Facebook. I'm on Facebook and Instagram. Send me a private message and just let me know you're listening.

Audrey: 25:16

And if you have any questions or suggestions on podcast episodes, I'm always looking for ideas on what to share or what to speak on episodes.

Audrey: 25:26

I'm always looking for ideas on what to share or what to speak on, and so if you have anything you would like me to touch on, that would help me immensely, and I'd just love to hear from you and know that the things that I'm sharing are encouraging and helpful for moms, for women.

Audrey: 25:39

And another thing that was really encouraging for me last week, a longtime listener, steph she came to see me. She actually lives abroad, but she was visiting family about three hours away from me and in North Carolina and she drove down and spent a couple of hours with me at our coffee shop and I can't tell you how much that blessed me. She was such a blessing just hearing about you know what the things God is doing in her life and her children, and we had an opportunity to pray together and she prayed for me and I just want to say thank you, Steph. You will never know how much that meant to me and it was such an encouragement to me that, yes, people are listening and that God is using this time. This time is not wasted. This is something he's using to encourage moms and it's worth it. It's worth the time, it's worth the energy. God bless you. I hope you have a wonderful week and keep it up, precious mama. It's worth it.