When God Calls You (But Your Husband Isn't on Board Yet)

What do you do when God places a calling on your heart, but your husband isn’t quite on board? In today’s episode, I’m sharing real stories from my own journey—about family devotions, career decisions, homeschooling, and learning to trust God’s timing instead of forcing outcomes. If you're wrestling between obedience to God's call and honoring your marriage, this message is for you. There is grace for this season, and hope for your heart.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome and Introduction
• 3:04 Family Devotions Struggles
• 6:28 Finding My Role as Leader
• 9:37 Career Changes and Family Finances
• 13:24 Mary and Joseph's Example
• 17:18 The Homeschooling Journey
• 19:16 Four Tips for Following God's Call

Transcript

Speaker 1: 1:13

Hello friend, welcome back to Grace for my Home. I hope that you're doing well. We are doing well. My boys are back in school after being off a week for spring break and I think they had a good time. They made some money and went to the beach and did some things and I think they had a good time. But now today they're back in school school and I miss them a little bit, but at the same time my house is a mess from having a full house for a week and a half.

Speaker 1: 1:44

So I have a lot to keep me busy and today I wanted to talk with you and share with you something that I wanted to share with you for quite some time, but I have been hesitant because it's not an easy topic. But I was having a conversation this week with a friend and some of the things we were talking about was related to this topic and I thought, okay, maybe it's time to share on this and I just want to start off. I'm going to do like a little precursor, right? I just want to start off by saying this is my opinion. There's areas I could be wrong and I'm okay with that. You know, I can only share with you from my own experience and what I believe, but I will say that the things I'm going to share with you today I truly believe. You know, I had a conversation this week with a friend who has much younger children and they were talking about family devotions and it may it reminded me so much of me. You know how I wanted to have devotions with our children, and it made me laugh because I thought, oh, I remember those days. I remember that, you see, I wanted so much to sit down as a family and have all of my children gather around and a husband and us open up the word, the word of God, open up the Bible and share, and us have great conversations about Jesus and who God is and what he wants us to do and how we're going to live for him.

Speaker 1: 3:15

I just had this vision of us having these wonderful family devotions, and you've got to have a vision. That's a good thing. I had a vision of how I wanted our family devotions to look, and so I tried to take that vision and I tried to put it on my husband. I tried to tell him this is what I feel like God is asking us to do as a family, and you're the head of the family, so you need to lead these family devotions. But here's the thing it wasn't burning on his heart, it was burning on my heart. And so he tried. You know, he, he tried, he tried, and it was funny. Because it was really funny, because I not only did, was it my idea, but I put the idea on him like, okay, you need to lead this because you're the father, you're the husband, you're the head of the house. Now you need to lead this, right? And then he would try. And I didn't like the way he did it. And so then it's like, ok, thanks for trying, but I want you to do it like this. Well, you can imagine that doesn't go over too well. Number one this is your idea. And number two you want me to do what you want me to do. How you want me to do it, you want me to do it.

Speaker 1: 4:42

And so family devotions did not go well at first, because I had a vision of what I wanted them to be, but I couldn't make it so. And you know my husband, it wasn't that he doesn't love my children, it wasn't, he doesn't love Jesus. I mean, he's a pastor, he shares the word all the time. But it wasn't something that was burning on his heart, it was burning on my heart, and when I tried to force him or guilt him into doing it, it wasn't the right attitude, it wasn't the right atmosphere, wasn't the way I wanted it to be, and so I stopped. I stopped trying because it was causing division between me and him frustration, I should say. And after a while, it was like the Lord was still knocking on my heart. I asked you to do this, yes, lord, but my husband should lead it. Well, I asked you to do this, but my husband should lead it. Well, I ask you to do this.

Speaker 1: 5:31

The truth is, I didn't know how and I was afraid of failing. After a while, it was like, okay, lord, if you'll show me how, I will do this. And see, I had the time At that time. I was a stay-at-home mom and I had the time during the day to do it, and I had the desire, I had the heart to do it and and I knew how to talk with them. You know, I knew how to talk with them because I was with them all day and I knew how to get their attention. And sometimes, um, and you know, god had put that on, that desire, that calling, that vision in my heart, and so I'm the one who he called to do that. And so, as I jumped in, god blessed it, he helped me, he showed me how. It was never perfect, it was never wonderful. We never had these.

Speaker 1: 6:22

I imagined family devotions being these wonderful times when God just spoke and everybody felt the presence of the Lord. And you know, we had a few times like that, but for the vast majority of the times we got together and we opened the word together. There were no fireworks and we read the word, we talked about the word. You know, what do you see in this? What is God saying in this? How can we live this out? And it was just the bread, it. What is God saying in this? How can we live this out? And it was just the bread. It was the daily bread. And you know, and there were days that you know it was, those were the good days. Ok, that those were the good days, there were days when it was just a big old mess and you know, and I would close the Bible crying like, oh, I just I don't know what I'm doing, but I did a whole podcast on the subject of family devotions and how to start them and how to lead them, and I'll put a link to that in the show notes.

Speaker 1: 7:13

But the bottom line is God asked me to do that, but I was trying to put that on my husband. He'd given me everything I needed to do it and a green light, and he'd given me all the authority, all the wisdom that I needed to be able to do that. I just had to commit to it and I just had had to do it because it was what God was asking me to do. Now, another instance I talked about this last week where my husband and I did not necessarily see eye to eye at first was with me quitting my job and becoming a stay-at-home mom. I spoke about this in last week's podcast.

Speaker 1: 7:52

You know, when I started having children, I had just started a new job and it was a promotion for me and I was making more money than I ever made. And the second day that I went to work, I came home that night and found out that I was pregnant with my first child, and so God did something in my heart, and as I started thinking about being a mom, I started wanting to be able to be a full-time mom and to quit my job. But we had debt and a lot of that debt was my student loans and we weren't at a place financially where I could just quit, and especially with little ones coming. You know they're expensive. So we had three little ones within four years, but my heart was to be at home with them.

Speaker 1: 8:42

When I went to my husband I told him this you know, my heart is to be at home with these children and I don't understand it. You know, I feel like it's a God-given desire. I never thought that I'd want to be a stay-at-home mom, but now I do. And his thing was Audrey, we can't afford that right now. I'm not against it, but I know that on my salary alone we can't do it Now. That was wisdom, that was right, it was true. But my heart was pulled another way and I knew he was right, but I didn't want to accept it. And the Lord had to do heart work in me to accept the reality of where we were and at the same time, hold on to the vision he'd given me of being a stay-at-home mom. I don't know how to explain that. It was kind of like, okay, there's yes, this is me, but it's not time right now.

Speaker 1: 9:33

And in the middle of that time period, from when I wanted to quit my job to when I was actually able, there was a temptation to be angry or mad at my husband because he wouldn't and I'm doing air quotes here he wouldn't let me quit my job Because he wouldn't, and I'm doing air quotes here he wouldn't let me quit my job. And I had to mature as a person and realize, okay, we are partners. It's not him against me and me against him, and what God's called me to do, and what God's called him to do, it's what has God called us to do. See, I had to grow up and see that it was not him keeping me from doing what God's asked me to do, it was what has God asked us to do as a couple. And so during that time you know it was there was a strain, there was a longing, but at the same time I was maturing and I was growing and the Lord was starting to show me, you know, that we, we are partners, and I hope I can explain this. The way that the Lord showed me, you know, is God made marriage to be a partnership.

Speaker 1: 10:37

One is not lording over the other. You know God has given me an assignment as a person, as his daughter. God has given my husband an assignment and my assignment is not just to make sure he accomplishes his assignment. God is God and he can give me a unique assignment and my husband a unique assignment. And because he's God, those can fit together perfectly. When we're listening and obeying and seeking God Doesn't mean there's not going to be some friction and trying to figure it all out, but you are your own unique person and God has a call for your life. And it may not look exactly like your husband's, but it doesn't mean that you're not called. It doesn't mean God doesn't have a unique plan for you and when you're both walking and seeking the Lord's will, he will show you the way together and there's some things that you'll do on your own and there's some things you'll do with him and there's some things he'll do on his own and some things he'll do with you, and that's okay. You know, I often think about Mary.

Speaker 1: 11:42

I love the story of Mary, jesus's mom, because here's a young woman who God comes to her, because here's a young woman who God comes to her, or I should say God sends an angel to her and asks something huge of her Huge Will you carry my son, the son of God? Will you carry him, will you raise him, will you protect him, will you love him? And she says be it unto me according to your word. Be it unto me, lord. So she says be it unto me according to your word. Be it unto me, lord. So she says, yes.

Speaker 1: 12:13

Now Mary did not go ask her father if she could do this, because God didn't go to her father. God went to Mary and Mary didn't go and ask Joseph. Hey, I know we're getting married, do you mind if I do this? God asked Mary, and Mary had to answer for Mary. She couldn't answer for Joseph. She had to answer for Mary and she said yes, lord, be it unto me according to your will. Now she needed Joseph for the plan that God had. She needed Joseph. She knows she needed Joseph. God knows she needed Joseph, but God had to speak to Joseph, and the same God that speaks to Mary can speak to Joseph, but God had to speak to Joseph, and the same God that speaks to Mary can speak to Joseph. And there are times in my life that I've had to rest on that. I've had to believe that God's not going to call me to do something and not give me the grace to do it and not speak to my husband if it affects him. Another example of this that played out in my life and I've spoken about this also I did a whole podcast on God's calling to homeschool, because, as I came home with my children, I felt like God had asked me to homeschool them.

Speaker 1: 13:30

And that was another area where me and my husband did not see eye to eye. He is in the public school system and so homeschooling was not on his radar until I felt like God had asked me to homeschool our children and I prayed about it, I fasted about it. Lord are you sure? It was such a desire in my heart and I didn't understand it. I just really felt like God has asked me to homeschool these children.

Speaker 1: 13:55

Well, my husband was not in agreement with that. He flat out said no, I don't think that's God's plan for our family. We are not going to, I don't think we're going to be a homeschool family. And I was confused, because how can God call me to do something so clearly? And then my husband not see it, or at least not believe me or believe it. And I asked him would you pray? And he said I will pray, but I really didn't believe he was praying, or at least not praying the way I wanted him to pray.

Speaker 1: 14:31

And same thing there isn't a temptation there to manipulate. There's a temptation there, even through prayer, to say Lord, change his heart. And the Lord taught me through that situation this is how you pray, audrey. Your kingdom come, your will be done. You know we have to hold things loosely, lord. If this is what you've asked of me, I'm willing. I'm like Mary, be it unto me. But you've got to speak to my husband, and I know you can.

Speaker 1: 15:02

And that took a long time and there was actually a point where I gave it up, because my children have two parents. They have a dad and a mom, and I really felt like God had called me to homeschool them. But for me to homeschool them and my husband not be in agreement would bring division in our home. And so at the end I said, lord, I believe that you've asked me to homeschool our children, but my husband hasn't heard that. So if you want me to, I'm more than willing to do so, but I need you to speak to him. And he never spoke. I prayed, I fasted, never spoke, and so I gave it up. I said, lord, it's yours, I will not force my will, force my way. I will trust you. Well, as I went about my business, the Lord spoke. He spoke when I wasn't expecting it and in a way I didn't expect God answered my prayer. The same God who speaks to Mary can speak to Joseph.

Speaker 1: 16:11

But let me give you a couple of tips. First of all, pray. Don't manipulate, even in prayer. Pray, hold it loosely, hold it with open hands. Lord, I'm willing, but you've got to speak. Lord, your kingdom come, your will be done.

Speaker 1: 16:31

Number two don't make your husband the enemy. He's not the enemy. The enemy is the enemy. Your husband is your partner. Number three as much as is in your ability, do what God has asked of you. It's like me with the devotions If it's something that God's asked you to do, but you're just waiting on your husband to do it, but God's asked it of you and it's not going against your husband for you to do it, do it.

Speaker 1: 17:08

And number four let God speak God's way. Let God do the heavy lifting. You say yes to the Lord and let the Lord speak the way he wants to, in his timing, and if it's the Lord, he will speak. Let our aim be to obey God. Let your aim be to obey God and to love your husband and to live in peace, and all of those are not mutually exclusive. We can do all three at the same time. We can obey God, we can love our husbands and we can live in peace.

Speaker 1: 17:48

I just want to give you some hope today that the God who called Mary, spoke to Joseph and God can do the same thing in your life. I encourage you to pray about it. I encourage you to hold it loosely and not manipulate it. Trust God with it. Let God deal with your heart. Don't make your husband the enemy. Keep your relationship with your husband on good terms and do to the best of your ability what God has asked you to do, and God will do the heavy lifting.

Speaker 1: 18:27

Before I let you go today, I'd like to say a prayer over you, father. I thank you for these who are listening. I thank you, lord, for peace in our homes. God, the world is so full of chaos and there's so much turbulence out there. I pray, lord, god, that you would show us how to within our walls, the walls of our home. How to bring peace, lord, how to live in unity with each other, how to teach our children to the best of our ability. Lord and Lord, I just pray that faith would grow in our hearts and in the hearts of our children, and we would be guided by your Holy Spirit. In Jesus name, amen. If you found this message helpful, please share it with a friend. God bless, bye, bye.