Learning to See God’s Goodness in the Hard Seasons

Have you ever felt trapped in a spiral of negativity, where every challenge seems to confirm that life is just hard? That's exactly where I found myself years ago as a new stay-at-home mom to three young children.  My home began feeling more like a prison than the sanctuary I'd envisioned.

When my husband finally pointed out how negative I'd become, I was initially furious. But that observation catalyzed the change I needed.

This episode is about the power of gratitude and positive perspective as revealed in Proverbs 15:15: "All the days of the afflicted are made evil, but those of a merry heart have a continual feast." When we see ourselves as victims, we unconsciously filter our experiences through that lens, confirming our negative expectations. But when we cultivate thankfulness, we begin noticing the countless blessings that were always there.

This isn't about embracing "toxic positivity" or denying legitimate struggles. Rather, it's about recognizing that thankfulness keeps us in right relationship with God and transforms how we experience our daily lives. Through practical steps like keeping a gratitude journal and consciously choosing to "look up" rather than "look down," we can break free from negativity's grip and experience joy regardless of circumstances.

What would change if you started intentionally documenting God's faithfulness in your life? How might shifting your perspective from "afflicted" to "blessed" transform not just your experience, but the atmosphere you create for those around you? Join me in choosing to see the things around us through His eys.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome Back and Life Updates
• 4:06 Letting the Good Outweigh the Bad
• 6:22 The Importance of Giving Thanks
• 9:02 From Career Woman to Struggling Mom
• 15:14 Two Men Looking Through Prison Bars
• 16:47 The Merry Heart's Continuous Feast
• 20:12 The Power of a Gratitude Journal

Transcript

Audrey: 1:14

Hello and welcome back to Grace From my Home. I hope and pray that you're doing well. We are. We're doing great. The weather is beautiful right now in South Carolina. It's not too hot, it's not too cold. I love to go walking in the afternoons. That's my way of kind of decompressing and getting a little bit of exercise, and it's just perfect weather for that. Soon it'll be very hot and I won't be able to go until late at night, if at all, and in the winter sometimes it gets chilly, but right now it's just perfect and beautiful, beautiful outside.

Audrey: 1:52

Living here with three teenagers you know they keep me young. Here with three teenagers, you know they keep me young. The good thing about having kids late is that you're doing things that people 10, 20 years younger than you are doing. You know you're still going to ball games and preparing for prom and those kind of things, and so so you know your kids keep you young. Sometimes we say they make us old, but they keep us young too, because they make us get out and do things that we otherwise would not be doing. I would not be at a ball field unless I had children who were playing. So my son has possibly his last soccer game. Tonight he's in the playoffs. His soccer team made it to the playoffs and that may be his last game playing for his high school. So he's been playing since he was a tiny little thing, four or five years old. So it's bittersweet. It's the end of an era.

Audrey: 2:54

Today, I want to talk with you about letting the good outweigh the bad, letting the positives in your life outnumber the negatives. You know, thankfulness is so important because it helps us. It makes us concentrate on what's good, on what's going well, on the positive things, on what's good, on what's going well, on the positive things. Now, I've heard a lot of talk recently on social media and different podcasts that I listen to about toxic positivity, and I get it. I understand the concept. You know, sometimes we can be so determined to be positive that it's to a fault, and I don't want to be that kind of person. I don't. I almost see that as very fake. You know, we don't ever discuss anything negative, it's just everything's happy, happy. And I don't want to be that kind of person, but at the same time, I do want to be a positive person. I don't want to be a toxically positive person, but I would much rather be a positive person than a negative person. You know, I don't want to be a toxically positive person, but I would much rather be a positive person than a negative person. You know, I don't think we understand how important Thanksgiving is.

Audrey: 4:05

It talks in Romans 1 a little about Thanksgiving and I want to read that. That's not the scripture that I want to concentrate on today, but I do want to read that. And in Romans 1, it talks about mankind's fall and his descent into depravity and how man went from worshiping God to worshiping idols. And in Romans, chapter 1, starting, we'll start in verse 20,. It says For since the creation of the world, god's invisible qualities, his eternal power. And Starting, we'll start in verse 20.

Audrey: 4:52

It says they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. And although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal human beings, birds, animals and reptiles. Therefore, god gave them over, in the sinful desires of their hearts, to sexual impurity, for the degrading of their bodies with one another. And it goes on to talk about how they exchanged the truth of God for lie, and they worshiped those things that had been created rather than the creator. I just want you to pay special attention there In verse 21. It says for although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him.

Audrey: 5:45

That's how important giving thanks is. If we're going to stay in a right relationship with God, we have to first of all honor him as God. We have to remember that he has a place of honor, that he is our father, but he's also God, that he is our savior, but he's also the creator of the entire universe. And so, even though we relate to him as a child would relate to his or her father, we also have to remember he is God Almighty and give him that reverence that's due his name. And not only give him that reverence, but to thank him. See, when we thank people, when we thank God, we remember that the good things in our life are because of Him. And then we remember that there's good things in our lives, because that's really easy to forget. You know, if we're always concentrating on what's not right, on what we don't have, on what we wish was different, then we do not see the good things right before our eyes and that's human nature. And so when we make a habit to be thankful, when we make a decision to see the things that we've been blessed with and to acknowledge them as gifts from God, then it changes our perspective. Then it changes our perspective, we see the world through a different set of eyes. You know, negativity is a spiral and once you get on it it's hard to get off and it just takes you on a ride. You don't want to go on and the best solution is not to start. The best solution is not to get on that road because it's hard to get off. But when we can purposely decide to be thankful, to recognize the good things that God has blessed us with, it changes so many things. It may not immediately change our circumstances, but it will definitely change our perspective in our circumstances.

Audrey: 7:57

Many, many years ago, when my children were young and I had just come home to be with them, I just quit my position and I was a stay-at-home mom and I was with my children all day, every day, the way that I wanted it. I had prayed to be able to do that and God answered that prayer. And then, like so many things, it's never the way you think it's going to be. In my mind I had all these wonderful things we're going to do and when I come home, reality hit me like a brick. And I remember having a five-year-old, a four-year-old and one that was almost two, and the five and four were so busy that I could barely keep up with them. And then I'm trying to take care of the little one and his needs and I know you mamas with six or seven are probably like, oh, that's nothing, girl.

Audrey: 8:56

Well, it was a lot for me and you know my personality. I wanted everything in control and I felt completely out of control. Everything was out of control is the way it felt. And you know, I felt like I was just surviving. And there was a particular season when there was a lot going on in our church. We had some issues in our church that we were trying to work through, trying to deal with, trying to figure out. I had some health issues that I was struggling with, couldn't figure out what was going on, but I knew something wasn't right and it was affecting how. You know how much energy I had and I'm not naturally a nurturer Like that's something that I had to learn, you know I had to pray about.

Audrey: 9:41

And so I was home all day with these children, and there were days, at the end of the day, my husband would get home and I would just walk out the door I'd say okay, tag, it's your turn. If I don't get out of here, I'm going to bust. And it was so funny because the Lord had to keep reminding me this is what you prayed for, remember? You wanted to come home and be a stay-at-home mom. Well, this is what it's like. And so reality set in and I had to remember okay, this is what I prayed for, this is the answer to my prayer.

Audrey: 10:15

But I was depleted, and I felt depleted of all resources and I felt stuck and my house felt more like a prison than it did a home, and I felt isolated and like the whole world was happening and I was forgotten. And you know, I unloaded on my husband. When he come home, I tell him everything that happened, that forgotten. And you know, I unloaded on my husband. When he come home, I tell him everything that happened that day. And you know, and I just I wanted somebody to make me feel like this is going to be OK, like you haven't made a mistake. You know you didn't miss God. I just wanted somebody to tell me that it was going to be OK.

Audrey: 10:54

But after doing that constantly, you know, my husband comes in and I just unload on him because he's the first adult that I've seen that day, you know, that wore on him and I remember one particular day where he came in and I was unloading on him about my day and this happened and that happened, and and you wouldn't believe what he did. And, and I remember he looked at me and he said Audrey, you are such a negative person. And it made me angry, like angry, like two days angry. I could not believe that. He said that to me because I was struggling and I was just looking to him for validation that I'm not going crazy, that I can do this, that this is normal. But I was wearing him down too, and so I, you know I came back with no, I am not. I am not a negative person, I'm a very positive person. And after, you know, I got over it. I realized he was right. I had become a very negative person because I felt defeated. I felt like everything that I did did not work. Everything that I did did not work and I was afraid of people finding out that I was failing in all these areas. And, guys, I really wasn't failing on these areas, it just felt like it because I just didn't feel like I knew what I was doing. And so I felt like a failure.

Audrey: 12:31

And around that same time I came across a story of a missionary, and I think it was a story I was reading to my children because I tried to read to them every day, even when they were young. And I love missionary stories because, I don't know, I hear these stories about these men and these women who went to very hard places, and that's how I felt. They went to very hard places where no one knew they were there, except for maybe their family, and they did things for God and they got no glory for it. And that encouraged me. And so I was reading this story about a young missionary who had gone with her husband.

Audrey: 13:14

She'd gotten married and gone with her husband on the mission field and she was writing letters because you know this is before telephones and she's writing back and forth to her parents and telling them just how awful it was. It was hot and nobody was receiving the message and the community where they were ministering hadn't really received them and they were seeing no fruit and they were struggling financially. And it was just, it was. It wasn't good. And so every letter that she was sending back home, she was complaining about her situation.

Audrey: 13:52

And she said one day she got a letter from home which was always a joy to get something back from home and she got this letter from home and in it was a simple poem from her dad. And the poem said two men looked through prison bars. One saw mud, the other stars, the other stars, and that's all it said. But she got the point. You can have two people in the same situation, the same jail cell, if you will, and it depends on where they're looking at, what they see. If you're looking down, you're going to see the mud, but if you can look up, you're going to see the stars.

Audrey: 14:38

And sitting on the couch reading that to my children, God spoke to me and he said where are you looking? Are you looking down at the mud? Are you looking at all the problems? Are you looking at how you know this is just not fair and this isn't right? Or are you looking up to me Because I can show you things that will change your perspective. But you've got to decide that you're willing to change yourself. But you've got to decide that you're willing to let go of the right to be mad, to be offended, to be hurt. You've got to decide that I'm going to find the positive where I am. I'm not going to be a victim where I am.

Audrey: 15:26

Which leads me to another verse, the verse that I want to share with you today, which is in Proverbs 15. Proverbs 15, 15 says All the days of the afflicted are made evil, but he that is of a merry heart has a continual feast, regardless of circumstances, and the Lord has used that to remind me so many times that it's how I see myself that determines how my days are going to go, how I see myself. If I see myself as one that is afflicted, one that always gets the short end of the stick, one that is the victim, then my days are going to be wretched, they're going to be hard, because that's what I'm looking for, and we rarely disappoint ourselves when we're looking for problems. You know you will find what you're looking for. If you're looking for Jesus, you will find him, but if you're looking for problems, if you're looking for fault, you will easily find that too, and so all the days of the afflicted are made evil.

Audrey: 16:37

Are you afflicted? Do you see yourself as the afflicted person, as the victim? Because if you do, then you're going to always be looking down at the negative and the problems and they're going to multiply, because the more you concentrate on them, the bigger they become. But if you decide that you're going to be the other person, the one that is of a merry heart, if you decide that's going to be me, then you will have a continuous feast and the amplified version says regardless of circumstances. In other words, my circumstances don't determine my attitude, don't determine my joy, they don't determine if things are going to go well for me. They're going to go well for me. They may not look well right now, it may not feel good right now, but we're not staying here. We're going to go through this and we're going to have a feast. We're going to feast on the word of God. We're going to enjoy our family, we're going to enjoy this life that we've been given, and that is a choice. See, sometimes we forget that that's a choice, that enjoying our life is a choice.

Audrey: 17:44

Guys, I am not saying that bad things don't happen if your heart is right. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that we don't have to deal with bad days. I'm not saying that it's wrong to complain. I'm not saying that it's wrong to complain. I'm not seeing any of those things. I'm saying that you have to take inventory of your own attitude and find out where you're looking. Are you looking up? Are you looking to Jesus? Are you looking for good things to happen? Are you thankful for the good things that have happened, or are you looking down at the mud and expecting the worst, because it feels like that's all that ever happens and it is all that will ever happen, if that's where you're looking Now, this is a hard word. It sounds like I'm rebuking you. I'm not. I'm just reminding you and in reminding you I'm reminding myself that we're going to go through this world. We're going to go through things, but it doesn't mean that we cannot be joyful. It doesn't mean that we can't enjoy this life that we've been given.

Audrey: 18:46

And, you know, I think about my children when they were that young. And you know, just imagine being stuck in a house all day and the one person that you have that's there to meet your needs is angry. And the one person that you're looking to, for you know, attention and love is just miserable, you know and has a scowl on her face all day. That was me. That was me and I thought, bless their heart, I feel like I'm in a prison. I mean, they're really in a prison and I don't want them to have those kind of memories. I don't want them to think back and think, man, I wish my mom would have just gone to work and you know, I want them to be glad that I was able to be with them. I don't want them to look back and think, man, my mom was never happy. You know, she might have sacrificed her job to come home with me, but we were miserable. You know what joy is in that, what reward is in that. I want them to think back and remember a mama that loved being with them, that enjoyed being with them. No, I'm not perfect. No, I got it wrong a lot, but I want them to remember that I enjoyed them, that we enjoyed life together and that we don't have to let the bad days keep us from enjoying our life. We don't have to be looking for the bad. We can look for the good and deal with the bad when it comes, we have to decide that we are going to make sure that the positive things in our life outnumber the negative things and that the good things outweigh the bad things. We're going to get a mixture of both, but we're going to be thankful for the good and see them multiply.

Audrey: 20:34

For many years I've kept a gratitude journal. I read Ann Voskamp's book years ago and it did something in my heart and I saw the importance of jotting down the things you're thankful for. And see, I was the kind of person like, well, why would I do that? I'll just say, hey, lord, thank you. But there's something about writing it down, there's something about getting on paper, there's something about catching it. It's kind of like catching a bird that's flying over your head.

Audrey: 21:00

You know, I'm not just, I'm going to capture it and I'm going to write it down in this book so that I don't just remember right now, but tomorrow I can look back and remember what I was thankful for today and next week and the next week, and it's like it makes it more real. It makes those things that you're thankful for more real when you commit them to paper and it reminds you of the goodness of God. You know God does things for us every day, and when we write them down and we can go back and look over our life, it's like, wow, god has been faithful and that helps us in seasons when we need him to do something for us. Today, you know, I can go back and look and say when I was struggling here, he answered that prayer, when we didn't know how we were going to pay this bill, and God made a way. You know, that gives me faith for tomorrow's bill. Those things are important, and so we have to commit ourselves to being thankful, to remembering the goodness of God, to remembering to worship him as God, and to decide that we're not going to be the afflicted. We're going to be those of a thankful heart, those of a cheerful heart, and we're going to live in a continuous feast because we're going to recognize the good things that God does for us every day.

Audrey: 22:22

I want to be that kind of person that recognizes hey, I'm so blessed. You can be so blessed and not even recognize it. You can be completely blessed and be miserable because you think that somehow other people have it better than you. Maybe that's why I like those missionary stories, because I read their life and I read about how faithful they were and how dedicated they were and how they persevered and how they struggled. And they did this without the support systems that I have, without the things I have, without the money that I have, without the electricity, and I'm like Lord, if they could be faithful there, surely you know I can be thankful and faithful here and I hope that this has encouraged you today. I hope that it has spoken to you and I hope that you have a great week. Remember keep your eyes on Jesus. He loves you. He's got good things in store. Bye-bye.