You Cannot Pour From An Empty Cup If You Want To Love Well

Other episodes mentioned in this podcast:

Take Care of Yourself So You Can Take Care of Those You Love

Transcript

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Audrey 1:14

Hello and welcome back to Grace for My Home. I'm Audrey McCracken and I am so glad to be back with you again this week. I hope that you're doing well. We are doing great. Our house is a disaster, but it's all good. It's all good. We're getting new floors put down this week, and I'm super excited about it. We have had the same floors, the same carpet for 21 years. It's gone through three very busy, often dirty buoys. And this week we ripped it all up, and we have installers putting down hardwood, and it's beautiful. It is so beautiful. I'm so thankful. But like I said, it's way overdue, and our house is a shambles. Just everything in boxes. I had I didn't know we could stay in the house while we got new flooring. It's been three, four days now, going on four days, but we just keep moving things around, and it's it's been an adventure and it's all good, but it'll be worth it. My boys came home last night and saw what they had done so far, and they said, Mama, it feels like a hotel because it's just beautiful, you know, it's all clean. And so we'll we're we're excited about that. That's what's going on in my life. You know, I'm a simple person, it doesn't take much to make me excited, just you know, new new hardwood, and I'm good. Um, I hope that you're doing well. Um, we this week I wanted to talk with you about a topic I have not spoken a lot about, but I did do a podcast on it about two or three years ago, and that has been one of my all-time most downloaded episodes. And it's it was called Taking Care of Yourself so you can take care of those you love. And I'll put a link to it in the show notes. And, you know, I went back and listened to it in preparation for for this week, and I thought, this is really good, if I must say so myself. Because you forget, you forget even yourself, even a teacher forgets some of the things that she knows, you know, and it's like it says in the Bible, it's good. Paul said, it's good for me to remind you of these things. So just going back and listening to that podcast encouraged me this week. And what I want to do is do a few podcasts on self-care as a Christian woman. And I'm gonna do a few because I don't want to try and fit it all into one because I have a lot I want to say, and I want you to get it. So today we're gonna start with some misconceptions about self-care. You know, often we we talk about self-care in Christian circles under a bad light, and it it's a good thing, or at least the way I'm gonna present it today. And I don't even, you know, if you don't like the term self-care, call it something else. And if somebody recently told me they don't call it self-care, they call it soul care. And I like that. I think that that there's a lot of truth to that. But what I'm talking about is taking care of ourselves so we can take care of those people we love. You know, God made us as living, breathing, growing organisms. You know, from the time we're born to the time that we go and be with the Lord, we should constantly be growing and learning and developing and maturing and growing in wisdom. And I kind of think of it as like trees. You know, trees have seasons and they grow from just a seed to a sprout, and hopefully they come full term, and they are huge and big enough to give shelter to other people and to be a home for all kinds of you know, birds and animals. And I think of us that way. You know, God gives us seasons to grow and to be a blessing to other people, and but we have to we have to take in the good things, you know. That does that doesn't happen in a desert. That happens when we are surrounded by the nurturing and the nutrients and the water that we need. You know, Psalm 1, you know, it talks about that tree planted by the rivers of water. It doesn't wither and it has its fruit in its season. And we're a lot like trees. You know, we take in the nutrients of our environment and hopefully grow stronger. And that's that's a lot like taking care of ourselves. You know, and I I talk about this in the other podcast episode that I'm gonna link, so I don't want to go into all of it, but this is something that I have had to learn through the years because I believed a lot of the lies and misconceptions that I'm gonna share with you today. Talking about self-care just seemed very selfish, especially when I had three very small children who constantly needed me. And to think about my own needs just seemed counterproductive. But I got to a point where my body was rebelling against me and knew, I think it was when I was around 40, maybe a little earlier than that, I was having a lot of health trouble. And I came to the point where I realized this is of my own doing. Now, not all health trouble is of our own doing. You know, sometimes things happen that were completely out of our control, but there was a lot of things that I was doing to cause my problems. And the Lord brought me to this realization one day, I think I was in the shower, that nobody's gonna come in and do this for me. Nobody's gonna call the doctor for me. You know, nobody's gonna make me eat right. Nobody is gonna come in and, you know, and be the be my parent. I was gonna have to do these responsible things for myself because I love myself, number one, but number two, because I love my children and they deserve a mom that has the ability to meet their needs when they're too young to meet their own needs. And so today I want to talk with you a little bit about the things that the Lord showed me and the lies that I believed, and like I said, the misconceptions I had about taking care of myself. You know, I believed a lie that a good Christian woman ignored her own needs to take care of the needs of others. You know, we grow up in a lot of times in Christian circles where it just seems like that is the highest virtue is self-sacrifice. And I do believe in self-sacrifice. I believe it's a biblical principle. Jesus said to his disciples, I didn't come to be served, but to serve and to give my life as a ransom for many. And I do believe that we are to imitate Christ and we are to serve others, and we are to find places where we can be a blessing and and and give and and be there for people. I do believe that, and my heart is to do that. But you can't pour from an empty cup. You know, if you're empty, if you're dry, if you have nothing to give, then you're not any help to anybody else. And I had gotten to that place where I had become irritable and I had become angry because I had poured and poured and poured and never filled back up and felt guilty for even thinking about it. So if you're in that place today where you are just wore out and you're tired and you have nothing else to give, can I just recommend that you think about how can I get my cup filled back up? You know, and a lot of times when we have small ones and we have little ones, that just seems like impossible. And that's how it felt like to me. I was angry at the Lord because I felt like I've given and I've given and I've given, and this is what I get for it. And the Lord started showing me, you have a body and you have a mind and you have a soul and you have a spirit that I've given you. Now I need you to take care of those things. And you have to take responsibility for your own health. For your if your life's not working, Audrey, fix it. And I didn't know I had that power. You know, I don't know how to explain it. It was like a the Lord opened my eyes and showed me, okay, everything doesn't have to be perfect to be better, but let's start working on some things. And so one of those lies that I believed was a good Christian mom, she always puts her kids first. She always puts other people before her. She doesn't have any needs until she hits rock bottom, and then reality sets in and she realizes that she does have needs, and there's nobody gonna come and rescue her, and there's nobody gonna come in and make her take care of herself or meet her own needs. It's her responsibility. Another lie that we often believe about self-care, and it goes along with the first one, is we believe that self-care is selfish. You know, to take care of me is selfish. You know, I shouldn't make time for me. And guys, I understand if you have a lot of little ones or a lot of big ones even, it can seem impossible to take care of yourself. It can seem impossible to make time for yourself. And the things I'm going to share with you in this series are not big things. You know, one of the reasons I think that we avoid self-care is we don't really know what it is. We have in our mind what the world tells us that self-care is, and that's not necessarily self-care, or not the way it has to be, or not the way it can be realistically for you in this season. But God can fill your cup in small ways without it being a huge deal. See, my thing with self-care is I had in my mind it had to be this spa day. There was no day, no time for a spa day. And so the Lord started showing me the little things that were draining me and little ways that I could plug up the holes and little ways that I could come and just have a few minutes to just decompress so I didn't explode on people. And that is a form of self-care. Another misconception that we also have about self-care, or at least I did, was that self-care isn't biblical. You know, we might say, well, God doesn't say, take care of yourself, but he does tell us to steward well what he has entrusted to us. And that includes these bodies. You know, God has given you a body, and it's a it's it's a marvelous thing. You know, David said, I am wondrously made. You know, I he has given you an amazing body. Now I know you're thinking, Audrey, you don't know my body. You know, I know you're thinking, you don't know me, but your body is an amazing tool. It's an amazing gift. It is the vehicle that's gonna get you through this entire life that you're gonna live, right? Your body, your mind, your heart, your soul, your spirit are all gifts from God. So take care of it so that you can last to the end. You know, what if he's got things for you to do, but you're just wore it all out, right? And that helps me when I think of it that way, is this life that he's given me, this body that he's given me, this brain that he's given me, this is something he's entrusted to me. And in order to do what he's called me to do, in order to serve the people he's called me to serve, I have to take care of my body, I have to take care of my mind, I have to take care of my spirit because I'm not gonna get another one, at least not until Jesus comes, right? Not until I get my new body. But for now, this is it. And so if I'm gonna make it to the end of my race, I have to be a good steward of what's he's what he has entrusted to me. Another misconception that I struggled with is that I'm only valuable when I'm working, like when I'm producing. And I struggled with my self-worth was all wrapped up in how much I could get done in a day. You know, I come from a corporate world, and I had a calendar, and I had a to-do list every day, and I had appointments, and that honestly made me feel important. And the more things I could check off my list, the better I felt about me. And that kind of came with me when I became a mom. And even when I left that world and I came home, I still had struggled with that mindset that, you know, I didn't want people to come over and my house was dirty or the bathroom, you know, was unkept, or a lot of my self-worth was wrapped up in my performance. And when when we think like that, we never rest. Or or when we do rest, we feel guilty because there's so much to be done. Let me tell you a secret. It's never gonna get done. Like we want to get to the point where everything's done and then we can rest. And that day is never gonna come because as soon as you get one project done, it makes you think of the next project. And when you have kids, when you have a husband, when you have other things going on, when you have a job, there's always something else to do. There's always something else to do. And so we have to carve out time to rest. That's what the Sabbath is all about. Jesus said that I made the Sabbath for man, not the man for Sabbath. I think God knows that unless He says rest, and this is important, then we won't do it. Unless He makes it a priority, we won't make it a priority. And so we have to let go of that mindset that I'm only valuable to God when I'm working for Him. Honey, He created you to love you. He created you to worship Him, to spend time with Him. Remember Mary and Martha? There's a deep truth in that. But Mary recognized that there's a time to let the other things go, sit at Jesus' feet, and get fed. And then you get up and you serve. But Jesus first. And he even told Martha, he said she has chosen the best part, and it's not gonna be taken from her. See, there is a refreshing that happens when we take care of ourselves, when we spend time with Jesus. That's ultimate self-care right there, is just spending time in his presence and not letting our value be dictated by how much we can check off our list for the day. Another principle of self-care, or another thing that can keep us from self-care, is this belief that I don't have time for self-care. And like I said before, that feeds right back into really not understanding what self-care is, having in our mind that self-care is having an entire day to ourself. That's that's not realistic, it's not going to happen. You know, maybe you're in a season that can happen, and that's wonderful, but do not feel guilty if you're not, and don't feel like this message isn't for you if you can't. I found that there were times that the Lord would show me, I asked him, I said, Lord, show me opportunities for me to feel back up and feel back up spiritually, but also feel back up mentally and feel back up physically. Sometimes the best, the most spiritual thing you can do is take a nap. And there's like a billion things that you need to be doing, but the most important thing at that moment is for you to take a nap. And you might say, Oh do you, I don't have opportunity to take a nap. Well, if you did, would you do it? Would you take that opportunity a nap? You know, I remember when my my kids were really little and my sister's kids are about the same age, and we would take each other's kids just for a day. And we didn't do that a lot because we both homeschooled, but sometimes I could hear her voice and know she needs a break. And sometimes she could hear my voice that I needed a break. And she would take the kids and they loved it. I mean, they just loved it. That was the best day ever. And I would just sleep. But it took me a long time to get to that point because that seemed selfish. It seemed wrong. And then when they come home, I was such a better mom. I was nice. I wasn't easily irritated. Where before I was like a balloon about to pop. See, self-care is wise. It's a wise woman who takes time to rest because she knows it's not just about her, it's about her family, it's about those that she loves. And she wants to show up as the best version of herself. And another another lie that we tell ourselves is that we don't need self-care. You know, we don't need that. That's for the weak people, right? That's for those weak people. I was one of those weak people. And, you know, we I think sometimes when we tell ourselves that it's because the same going back to we don't really know what it is. And you know and you may be doing things for self-care that you don't even realize are for self-care. You know, it may be you're doing these little things and they're just part of your life. And that's good, you know. But I I felt so guilty doing anything for myself because there was so much to do that I had to purposely say, I will take care of me. I will not just scarf up the chicken nuggets because I don't feel like making me a real meal. Okay. Because it's I can tell the effects of it. Like it's not good for me. You know, I will carve out just a few minutes before, you know, while the kids are playing, just to sit and not fold laundry and not do, you know, something productive, just to sit with my Bible, or, you know, just to listen to a song I like. You know, sometimes we get so caught up in the job that we forget who we are. We lose our identity with being the servant. I want to be the servant. I want to be the servant, but I want to be the servant with a good attitude and that's doing it for the right reason. And self-care brings us back to reality. You know, it brings us our perspective back to, okay, you know, my life isn't just an empty. I remember one time the Lord told me, I'll do your life is not an emergency. I felt like my life was an emergency. Everything I did was was a, you know, it was just we're moving from one catastrophe, one problem to the next. And I don't want to live that way anymore. You know, once you taste freedom, once you see that this is not how God created you to live, then you start seeking peace. And I got to the point that was seeking peace. And I found that when the Lord started teaching me about self-care, and the last one, avoided self-care or I didn't practice self-care, was I saw burnout almost as a badge of honor. And it was like I I just I wanted my husband to get home and just, you know, see everything I had done. And I wanted him to, you know, I wanted other people just to see, I am just doing, I'm doing it, I'm killing it. But I was killing myself, you know, and I I had that that mentality that my worth is caught up in how much I can get done. And that is a hard place to live, you know, and and even now, you know, I catch myself going back to that place, and I have to remind myself there's nothing good there for me. And I want to be a wise woman who takes care of the things God has given her. It's never perfect. I like I said, I went back and listened to that podcast episode, and I was encouraged, from my own words, two or three years ago, because it's easy to fall into those patterns and those mindsets, but we have to remind ourselves and remind each other that we have value beyond what we do. We have to remind ourselves that we're somebody worth taking care of. Your life is a gift from God. Now, I know it's not perfect. Jesus said, In this world you'll have trouble, but take heart. I've overcome the world. Think of it like this. If you were to give someone a gift, someone you love, and you you gave them a very special gift, something that meant a lot to you. You put a lot of thought in it, you spent a lot of time thinking about it and searching for just the right gift. Maybe you put a lot of money in it and you gave it to them, and they never used it. Maybe they never even opened the package. How would that make you feel? Well, God has given you a life, and He wants you to enjoy the life He's given you. Yes, there will be trouble. There'll be things you don't like, there'll be things you wish were different, but that doesn't mean we can't enjoy the abundant life that Christ died for us to have. So let's learn how to enjoy the lives, the bodies, the minds, the souls, the people that God has given us, that He's entrusted us with, that He's put in our lives for to be a blessing. He loves us so much. I'd encourage you this week to start thinking about how to take care of yourself so you can take care of those you love and why you don't, or how you could more. And that's what we're going to discuss in the upcoming weeks. And if you have found this encouraging, if you found this helpful, can I ask you to share it with a friend? That really is the best way you could say thank you. I do this podcast because my heart is to encourage. Encourage Christian women. I want to see you be successful. I want to see you grow. And I want to walk with you as we both grow in Christ. So if you could share this with a friend, that would be such a blessing to me. And before we go today, I'd like to take just a minute and pray with you. Father, I thank you for my friend who's listening today. I pray, Lord, that you would teach us how to take care of these bodies that you've given us, these minds that you've given us, our hearts, Lord God, our spirits that you've given us. God, show us how to steward well the life that you've entrusted to us. It's such a wonderful gift, Lord. Thank you so much. And Lord, I pray that you would help us to become women of wisdom. That, Lord, we would not be tossed to and fro, Lord, by all of the things in this world, Lord, that want our attention. But Lord, that we would be rooted and grounded in truth. And Lord, that we would grow stronger every day, every week, every year. In Jesus' name. Amen.